Forty Rooms by Olga Grushin

"Papa, do you  believe there is any meaning to life?" I blurted out. "I don't not believe" he said sternly. "I know. The meaning of life - the meaning of a single, individual human life, since I assume that is what you are asking - consists of figuring out the one thing you are great stand then pushing mankind's mastery of that one thing as far as you are able, be it an inch or a mile. If you are a carpenter, be a carpenter with every ounce of your being and invent a new type of saw. If you are an archaeologist, find the tomb of Alexander the Great. If you are Alexander the Great, conquer the world. And never to anything by half."

Totally original in conception and magnificently executed, Forty Rooms is mysterious, withholding, and ultimately emotionally devastating. Olga Grushin is dealing with issues of women’s identity, of women’s choices, that no modern novel has explored so deeply. 

“Forty rooms” is a conceit: it proposes that a modern woman will inhabit forty rooms in her lifetime. They form her biography, from childhood to death. For our protagonist, the much-loved child of a late marriage, the first rooms she is aware of as she nears the age of five are those that make up her family’s Moscow apartment. We follow this child as she reaches adolescence, leaves home to study in America, and slowly discovers sexual happiness and love. But her hunger for adventure and her longing to be a great poet conspire to kill the affair. She seems to have made her choice. But one day she runs into a college classmate. He is sure of his path through life, and he is protective of her. (He is also a great cook.) They drift into an affair and marriage. What follows are the decades of births and deaths, the celebrations, material accumulations, and home comforts—until one day, her children grown and gone, her husband absent, she finds herself alone except for the ghosts of her youth, who have come back to haunt and even taunt her. 

Compelling and complex, Forty Rooms is also profoundly affecting, its ending shattering but true. We know that Mrs. Caldwell (for that is the only name by which we know her) has died. Was it a life well lived? Quite likely. Was it a life complete? Does such a life ever really exist? Life is, after all, full of trade-offs and choices. Who is to say her path was not well taken? It is this ambiguity that is at the heart of this provocative novel.

This is such a fantastic concept for a story. Even though each chapter is only a snapshot of her life in a particular room/year, I felt like I had such a clear image of who she was.

The story is so crushing, not because of the intense drama in the characters actions, but because this theory could be applied to anyones life, unintentionally making you question how many shadow lives you have of your own. 

The plot isn't really anything new - girl has dreams, goes to uni, falls in love, gets heart broken, meets new boy, gets married and starts a family, there is an affair, life, deaths, friends...but there is so much angst and so many parallel lives in this story that it is hard not to feel it within yourself too.

Some chapters I could relate to, others not as much, but more so as she became a mother and struggled with the new identity and how to fit in time for who she was as well as all the there things that need doing. The first half of the book was the hardest to enjoy, because at times I found her a little annoying - each era of her life was frayed by more and more hesitation, selfish,unsure of herself and never quite satisfied yet not really doing anything to change it - but on reflection I think tis is what makes the story so real and relatable, because what young adult isn't like that at times?

There was a lot going on in this book with so many layers, and while it is ver intelligent and poetic at the same time, it isn't the sort of book I could read if I didn't have any mental energy to focus. 

What I have taken away from reading this, is that sometimes the only real challenges some of us face are the ones we put in front of ourselves.

Read my review on Goodreads

The Gravity of Birds by Tracy Guzeman

I was born old. My mother told me once that I looked like a grumpy old man from the moment I was born - wrinkled, pruney face, rheumy eyes. You've heard of the expression an old soul? I was born with a head full of someone else's failed dreams  and a heart full of someone else's memories.

In this compelling debut novel, an art authenticator and an art historian are employed by a famous, reclusive painter to sell a never-before-seen portrait, leading them to discover devastating secrets two sisters have kept from each other, and from the artist who determined the course of their lives.

How do you find someone who wants to be lost?

Sisters Natalie and Alice Kessler were close, until adolescence wrenched them apart. Natalie is headstrong, manipulative—and beautiful; Alice is a dreamer who loves books and birds. During their family’s summer holiday at the lake, Alice falls under the thrall of a struggling young painter, Thomas Bayber, in whom she finds a kindred spirit. Natalie, however, remains strangely unmoved, sitting for a family portrait with surprising indifference. But by the end of the summer, three lives are shattered.

Decades later, Bayber, now a reclusive, world-renowned artist, unveils a never-before-seen work, Kessler Sisters—a provocative painting depicting the young Thomas, Natalie, and Alice. Bayber asks Dennis Finch, an art history professor, and Stephen Jameson, an eccentric young art authenticator, to sell the painting for him. That task becomes more complicated when the artist requires that they first locate Natalie and Alice, who seem to have vanished. And Finch finds himself wondering why Thomas is suddenly so intent on resurrecting the past.

In The Gravity of Birds histories and memories refuse to stay buried; in the end only the excavation of the past will enable its survivors to love again.

A 3 star rating sounds too harsh, but I can't quite make myself commit to 4 stars, so 3.5 it is. 

The story was intriguing and engaging enough to make me want to keep reading until the end, it was just that I was never really shocked enough by anything (I would call them 'plot bends' instead of 'plot twists'). It was extremely well written (see above quote, this is just one example) and a good display on how a decision can change the course of a persons life, but there was just something missing for me to consider this a great book rather than just a good book. 

I found Alice to be a bit of a bore. I understand there was probably another side to her (i.e. that she showed the children in scouts) but you didn't really ever get to meet that side of Alice, only the whinging self-pitying cripple side of Alice.

It was a similar thing with Natalie - she was apparently so despicable and callous as a teenager and adult, but you never really found out how much until the end, you just had to trust the other characters opinion of her until then.

I loved how the story evolved through the different times, and how it was entwined with art. Overall I enjoyed it but would not recommend for anyone who loves their thriller novels fast paced. 

Read my review on Goodreads