Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan

“Maybe it’s true what Thomas Moore said: “It is only through mystery and madness that the soul is revealed.” 

A gripping memoir and medical suspense story about a young New York Post reporter’s struggle with a rare and terrifying disease, opening a new window into the fascinating world of brain science.

One day, Susannah Cahalan woke up in a strange hospital room, strapped to her bed, under guard, and unable to move or speak. Her medical records—from a month-long hospital stay of which she had no memory—showed psychosis, violence, and dangerous instability. Yet, only weeks earlier she had been a healthy, ambitious twenty-four year old, six months into her first serious relationship and a sparkling career as a cub reporter.

Susannah’s astonishing memoir chronicles the swift path of her illness and the lucky, last-minute intervention led by one of the few doctors capable of saving her life. As weeks ticked by and Susannah moved inexplicably from violence to catatonia, $1 million worth of blood tests and brain scans revealed nothing. The exhausted doctors were ready to commit her to the psychiatric ward, in effect condemning her to a lifetime of institutions, or death, until Dr. Souhel Najjar—nicknamed Dr. House—joined her team. He asked Susannah to draw one simple sketch, which became key to diagnosing her with a newly discovered autoimmune disease in which her body was attacking her brain, an illness now thought to be the cause of “demonic possessions” throughout history.

With sharp reporting drawn from hospital records, scientific research, and interviews with doctors and family, Brain on Fire is a crackling mystery and an unflinching, gripping personal story that marks the debut of an extraordinary writer. 

Whoa, what an amazing story! I've given myself a little time to try and articulate how I feel now I have finished reading this book, and I'm still blown away by it - how honestly it is written, trying to get my head around how remarkable yet fragile the body is (especially the brain) and what it must have been like to go through something like that, and return to 'normal' within a relatively short period of time. 

Towards the end of the book Cahalan says she wouldn't wish it on anyone but that it made her grateful to go through something like this, and I can see why (as well as anyone can without having a similar experience to reference personally anyway) it would completely adjust your thinking and make you appreciate everything so much more. You really can't take your health for granted, especially the heath of your brain!

As I was reading this I googled several things that were referenced in the book, particularly Teratoma and Susannah Cahalan, because I wanted to see what they both looked like. Both were very confronting in completely different ways. Some of the Teratoma was quite scary looking, and so too were some images that came up of Susannah while she was in hospital. But when you look at pictures of her now, you would never guess that she had been through any kind of ordeal, let alone one so significant and life changing.

It was great to hear that from her article and book that there have been a lot more cases correctly identified of the disease - irregardless of any money made, that is a great way to judge the competence and success of her writing, remarkable when you learn how close she came to losing that skill. 

I have seen online that they are making this story in to a movie - I imagine it would be a ridiculously hard character to play, it will be interesting to see it.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13547180-brain-on-fire

I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak

protect the diamonds
survive the clubs
dig deep through the spades
feel the hearts

…

“You can kill a man with those words.
No gun. 
No bullets. 
Just words and a girl.” 
Ed Kennedy is an underage cabdriver without much of a future. He's pathetic at playing cards, hopelessly in love with his best friend, Audrey, and utterly devoted to his coffee-drinking dog, the Doorman. His life is one of peaceful routine and incompetence until he inadvertently stops a bank robbery.

That's when the first ace arrives in the mail.

That's when Ed becomes the messenger.

Chosen to care, he makes his way through town helping and hurting (when necessary) until only one question remains: Who's behind Ed's mission?

I found it really hard to make my mind up on my final opinion of this book. Part of me thinks I should wait a couple of days before trying to write this review, but I don't have enough time to ponder too long, and I'm keen to move on to my next book…

I really liked the characters and the overall theme of the book. 

It was an interesting idea, being delivered mystery cards that help out strangers, but I found a few of them a bit too wishy washy - the message wasn't that clear and I expected something more from the outcome. The characters felt ''gritty' but I found that a nice change from the sparkly heroes in other thrillers, it made them feel a bit more real life.

I think the two areas where I come unstuck is the flow of the writing, and the ending. I can't put my finger on it, but something just didn't work for me and when I finished it, I just felt a little underwhelmed. The writing is very lyrical, so maybe I'm missing something as nearly every other reviewer has raved about it, but the final 2 sentences just really annoyed me.

Overall, I'm glad I read it - I have a feeling it will be one of those books that linger in the back of my mind for a little while while I keep trying to figure out how I feel about it. It's a smallish book, it only took me a few days to read, so if you aren't happy with it then at least you wouldn't have wasted too much time on it anyway.

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

“Did anyone really know their child? Your child was a little stranger, constantly changing, disappearing and reintroducing himself to you. New personality traits could appear overnight.” 

Big Little Lies follows three women, each at a crossroads:

Madeline is a force to be reckoned with. She’s funny and biting, passionate, she remembers everything and forgives no one. Her ex-husband and his yogi new wife have moved into her beloved beachside community, and their daughter is in the same kindergarten class as Madeline’s youngest (how is this possible?). And to top it all off, Madeline’s teenage daughter seems to be choosing Madeline’s ex-husband over her. (How. Is. This. Possible?).

Celeste is the kind of beautiful woman who makes the world stop and stare. While she may seem a bit flustered at times, who wouldn’t be, with those rambunctious twin boys? Now that the boys are starting school, Celeste and her husband look set to become the king and queen of the school parent body. But royalty often comes at a price, and Celeste is grappling with how much more she is willing to pay.

New to town, single mom Jane is so young that another mother mistakes her for the nanny. Jane is sad beyond her years and harbors secret doubts about her son. But why? While Madeline and Celeste soon take Jane under their wing, none of them realizes how the arrival of Jane and her inscrutable little boy will affect them all.

Big Little Lies is a brilliant take on ex-husbands and second wives, mothers and daughters, schoolyard scandal, and the dangerous little lies we tell ourselves just to survive.

I don't know why, but I didn't think I was going to enjoy this book, despite having a number of friends recommend it, and the great rating on Goodreads. I think the way it jumped to the internee comments at the beginning of each chapter initially confused me too much.

But within a few chapters I was addicted! So much so that I finished the entire book in 3 days!

The characters were charming and funny (especially Madeline and her feisty comments!), and although it touched on some serious topics like domestic violence, bullying and assault, it was written in such a light-hearted way it was hard not to smile sometimes.

It does give you a good reminder though, that you should never judge a book by it's cover...

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed

“The thing about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, the thing that was so profound to me that summer—and yet also, like most things, so very simple—was how few choices I had and how often I had to do the thing I least wanted to do. How there was no escape or denial. No numbing it down with a martini or covering it up with a roll in the hay. As I clung to the chaparral that day, attempting to patch up my bleeding finger, terrified by every sound that the bull was coming back, I considered my options. There were only two and they were essentially the same. I could go back in the direction I had come from, or I could go forward in the direction I intended to go.” 

At twenty-two, Cheryl Strayed thought she had lost everything. In the wake of her mother’s death, her family scattered and her own marriage was soon destroyed. Four years later, with nothing more to lose, she made the most impulsive decision of her life. With no experience or training, driven only by blind will, she would hike more than a thousand miles of the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert through California and Oregon to Washington State — and she would do it alone.
Told with suspense and style, sparkling with warmth and humor, Wildpowerfully captures the terrors and pleasures of one young woman forging ahead against all odds on a journey that maddened, strengthened, and ultimately healed her. 

I love travel books - hearing about new places I've never been to, remembering places I have already seen, sharing experiences with others during their travels. 

Before I started reading this book, I thought it would be a pretty standard travel book, someone visits somewhere and writes about what they saw, who they met, and a little complication they have to overcome, such as a lost passport or a tropical illness etc. I guess in essence this book does cover those things, but what surprised me was that there is a deeper story that makes it much more compelling to read. 

Straight away the prologue lets you know exactly what it's all about. It finished in such an uplifting and mysterious was that I was hooked straight away, and I couldn't  wait to hear more about her story - how she ended up hiking the PCT, things that happened while she was there, and what happened after.

Another thing that surprised me, was hearing her describe her Mum's battle and loss to cancer. I've heard people talk about themselves or a loved one getting sick and then either surviving or dying, but I am lucky to be quite naive about what happens in between the diagnosis and end result, so this was the first time I had actually ever heard or thought about it too much. Strayed spoke about the effects of her Mum's cancer treatment (on both her Mum physically, and for herself emotionally) in detail but still respectfully, so you could tell she really loved her Mother very much.

By the end of this book I was ready to go on an adventure myself, or at least think about what kind of 'great achievement' I could do in the future!