Conquering Darkness - A Memoir of the Serial Killer's Wife by Crystal Reshawn Choyce-Lige and Alice M Swafford

Conquering Darkness, Memoir of the Serial Killer’s Wife is a painfully candid account of the lives of two black people who grew up together in West Oakland, California. Their story, would, in a few aspects, mirror the simple plot of “boy meets girl.” Everybody knows that story—right? Boy meets girl; they fall in love and live happily ever after. However, the lives of Alice Marie Swafford and William Jennings Choyce were woven together by the threads of early parental abandonment and gross parental abuse that came creeping in from their past. Alice’s father abandoned her at the delicate age of five. That early experience filled her with an insecurity she could not shake; this, in turn, gave birth to a fragile and emotional state of mind which made Alice desperate to find a man to replace her father and the love he gave to her. William, on the other hand, grew up with both his parents in the home, but he was emotionally and physically abused by his mother. He desperately struggled to love and to please her— but to no avail. William’s misguided search for love would take him on an ill-fated journey with all kinds of dark psychological twists and turns that ruptured his childhood and split his adult mind down the middle; one side was good, and one side was pure evil. This journey started, unbeknownst to Alice, long before she joined William in marriage.

But how would the young Alice know who she was really dealing with? It would take decades for her to truly understand that question. More importantly, how would Alice ever understand who she was and is now?

This memoir, written by Alice and her daughter, Crystal Choyce-Lige, provides an up close and honest retrospective account of what life was like with a budding serial rapist and serial murderer who flew under the radar of his family and law enforcement for decades. How? He was very, very clever and cunning. All the while he was playing the part of husband and father; he was also leaving the house every night for his well thought out and stakeouts to lure and prey upon the most vulnerable people in our society. The essential questions asked and then answered are: How and why could this nightmare happen and then last for so long? Why couldn’t Alice see what was right in front of her? The answers will enlighten as well as surprise those who embark upon the riveting adventure of reading this book.

I found this book really fascinating, and that is hard to say considering the subject of the book is the rape and murder of women. I find it so fascinating because I ask myself the question (as Alice does also throughout the book) "How could she not know?", and "Why did she stay with him so long?" Although she touches on her answer to these questions throughout the book, particularly towards the ending, I would have liked to see more of their normal day-to-day lives so I could understand the answers myself. I know she says he was charismatic and a chameleon, but I felt we were given so much information of his abusive and erratic side that I sometimes found it a little hard to swallow that anyone could actually stay with him for so long.

The story itself is an inspiration and I would recommend it to all women to read. It is an uncomfortable topic but thankfully we are spared from too much graphic detail - especially when compared to the graphic nature of some of the modern movies anyway.

The book reads well, and I have seen some reviews saying that it could use with some tidying up from an editor, but I honestly think that it is fine just the way it is, and the fact that it is so raw and comes across as their own personal diary adds to its authenticity.

I sincerely hope that Alice and Crystal have found the peace they so deserve. I will be recommending this book to all my girlfriends.